Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Drunk is not a location!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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