drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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