Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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