His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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