idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize