fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
