I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
