I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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