never play flip cup with pint glasses
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
