I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
