I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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