Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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