Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
