I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
