your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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