I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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