I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
