To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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