look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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