You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
