drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
