I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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