please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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