I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
