What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize