doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
