youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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