Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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