Don't you send me to vm
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
