Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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