I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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