need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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