in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
