took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
