Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
