Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
