and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
