i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Who died my cat blue again?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
