oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
