this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
MIDGETS
????
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize