He kissed a someone with a penis
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
