Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
