he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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