So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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