Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
