I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
