Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
