this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You need a sexual gate keeper
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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