She said her name was "party"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
