When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
