Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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