at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
