Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
