Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
