The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dick very happy bro
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
