the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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