i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
