Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
