apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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